Do We Have a Misunderstanding?

Misunderstandings. I could ask, "Have you ever had a misunderstanding?" But I think the better question is, "Who hasn't had a misunderstanding?" Show me someone who has never had a misunderstanding, and I'll show you someone who is either perfect, or they do not have the ability to speak for some reason. Why? Why misunderstandings? Why can't life just go on as normal, everyone understanding everyone, perfect harmony, and effective communication one-hundred percent of the time? That would be nice, wouldn't it?

I had a misunderstanding recently with one of my superiors at work. He said, "I knew you better than to think that, yet I still did!" That describes the situation perfectly! One thing I will love in heaven: NO misunderstandings.

Listen, you are human. Your friends? They're human too. Coworkers? Yep, human. Parents? Human. What about my siblings? Well, if they're anything like mine, they're definitely human!!! :D No, I'm just kidding. The fact is, we're simply all human, and humans make mistakes. Human itself is by nature fallen, and therefore cannot effect incorruption in it's dealings. Do you like mathematical equations? Human = mistakes.

If I was perfect, and all my friends were perfect, we could communicate with complete efficiency. The words I say would be absolutely perfect for what I meant, and they could not be understood any other way. It would come across perfect. Those I am around, being perfect themselves, would take it into a perfect mind and understand it...well...perfectly! Unfortunately, this is far from the case. I am not perfect, and therefore say things that could possibly be misunderstood. My acquaintances hear and understand with an imperfect mind, and sometimes understand things different than they were intended. There is only one word I can think of for situations like this: Human!

Now, this is not to say that we should not try our best to prevent misunderstandings.


Proverbs 18:19 says,
"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle."

I believe we should be as clear and complete in what we say as we possibly can. Effective communication skills go a long way in any situation. But, in light of the fact that miscommunication and misunderstandings are inevitable, this is what the Bible says about the issue. (It seems to say something about every issue. Aren't you glad for that?)

Proverbs 18:13
"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him."

First of all, never assume. Unless you have heard the explanation of what was meant by what was said or done, do not assume anything, especially the worst, about someone. I have been in situations where an action was taken, and someone immediately assumed an intention for the action. That was never explained, just assumed. Needless to say, it led to a mess! Unless you've been reaffirmed in your initial suspicion, do not take action based on your understanding of a situation. Also, instead of making statements, always ask questions first. This allows you to understand the situation properly before making judgement. My dad always says, "It's never best to approach a situation on the attack with your mouth."

Proverbs 18:17
"He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him."

Proverbs 20:18
"Every purpose is established by counsel..."

Seek advice. Talk the situation over with someone who is trustworthy and wise. Allow your "neighbour" to search you. They may see something, notice something, or think of something that you did not, preventing a problem. My parents just happen to be my first option. :) I would go to them first in any situation. You cannot go wrong with such trustworthy counsel. The Word of God and the Spirit of God will also speak to you. Never enter into dealing with a situation without first diligently seeking God in a time of prayer. Know the mind of the Lord on the matter, and ask him to teach you how to handle things. God will lead you. It seems that I naturally want to handle things right away without delay, which allows my flesh to get involved because I have no insight from God before analyzing things.

Lastly, resolve the issue. If wrong has been done, get to the heart of it. Take action on the facts, and do not gossip to any that should not be involved with the issue. This will cause further confusion and hurt. However, if wrong has been done, take it directly to the source.

Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."

Proverbs 27:17
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend."

However, if it is realized that wrong has not been done, or at least not intended by the erroneous action that was taken, do not hold the other at fault for a simple, unintended mistake. In fact, I believe the Bible instructs us to take responsiblity for the misunderstanding, even if you don't think you should have to. Read this:

Proverbs 6:3
"Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend."

The idea is that no real friend is worth getting mad at for a misunderstanding. It is better to "make sure" your friend than to rehash a mistake that cannot be changed. It always starts with you humbling yourself. That is the issue. It is not easy to humble yourself, especially when you feel that the other has done the wrong. I know--I've been there! I will tell you this: It's worth it! It's far more profitable taking responsibility for a misunderstanding, and receiving and giving forgiveness, than to "figure out" who was really at fault.

I need not elaborate further; it's the doing, not the understanding, of the concept that we have the problem with. I don't know about you, but my friends are not worth being mad at over misunderstandings. I love them too much to be mad at them for too long over anything, actually. Aside from blatant sin, for which I have separated from many, it is just not worth it.

Proverbs 17:17
"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 27:10
"Thine own friend...forsake not;"